Here's a Christmas Poem for you. Ho Ho Ho

Christmas comes but once a year
Sounds a bit like us, my dear
What with work, money, kids and stuff
Quality time for us, there's not enough

I remember back in early May
We had a whole twenty minutes to play
With a kiss, grope, moan and jerk
No sooner started than back to work

Anyway, back to the season that's festive
I'll get the wife a present that's...suggestive
With any luck she can use it next Sunday
It's down on the calendar as this year's fun-day

We all portray Christmas as snowy and white
Let's be honest, it's a load of shite
Jesus was born in the Middle East
Where it hasn't snowed for a thousand years...at least

Santa's a pervy old man in a suit
Coming into your house with his bag of loot
With a Ho Ho Ho, come sit on my knee
You can see his trousers swell with glee

It's the time of year to get into debt
I'm surprised us grown-ups haven't learned yet
To just say "no, you're not fucking having it"
'Cos my finances are already in shit

What about Good Will to all, I hear you scream
Let's be honest, it's just a dream
With drunken yobs ready to break and enter
Your pressies will end up in the homeless centre

I hope this hasn't deterred you too much
Christmas itself, is joyous, as such
If you enjoy hang-overs from way too much beer
Just remember to try and have a Happy New Year